R/pirscy

Look, I know we joke about the "Pirate's Code" being more like guidelines. But out here on the Sulphur Tide, there’s one set of rules that ain't written in any book—because the ink would burn through the page.

Last month, we pulled up a mer-row —one of those deep-sea singers, all bioluminescent scars and needle teeth. Vex didn't want to sell it. She wanted to use it. She strapped the thing to the figurehead, wired its vocal cords to the ship's bell, and now when we sail, the mer-row screams in frequencies that make compasses spin and honest men weep blood. r/pirscy

(1.2k points) "The mer-row ate my ear and now it knows my name" is the hardest line I've read all year. New flair request: Eaten Ear Gang u/DepthCharger (890 points) The Code of the Tide is literally written in salt-water soluble ink for a reason, mate. You ignore it at your own peril. Vex is going to get you all turned into coral statues when the Drowned God wakes up. u/CrustyQuartermaster (450 points) Reply to u/DepthCharger: The Drowned God is a fairy tale told to hold us back. The real horror is what Vex is doing to that singer. She's not a pirate. She's a sadotech . Different beast. u/Barnacle_Betty (300 points) Hold on. Everyone ignoring that Scrimshaw has BARNACLES FOR TEETH? Is that a curse or a choice? u/Captain_Grime_Tooth (OP) (280 points) He lost his real teeth chewing through a ghost net. The barnacles grew back in the gaps. He's fine with it. Says it helps him grip rope. u/Fishwife_Fables (210 points) If you hear singing that sounds like your own mother crying, don't go to the lower deck. That's just the mer-row learning your regrets. Sweet dreams. u/Deckhand_Dying (95 points) I'm on a sweetfruit hauler. We have a cat named Pickles. I'm quitting this subreddit. You're all insane. u/Captain_Grime_Tooth (OP) (200 points) Tell Pickles I said pspspsps. And check your hold for rust. If you see orange flakes that smell like cloves, it's already too late. Moderator Note (u/The_Salt_King): Post approved. Rule 4 violation avoided (no explicit ear removal imagery). Marked NSFL for psychological dread. Remember, r/pirscy is for discussion of unethical nautical fantasy practices only. Do not attempt to bind a mer-row. Do not feed your body parts to sea creatures. Do not weld a welding mask to your skull. Look, I know we joke about the "Pirate's

flair: Blood & Salt