When the proverb calls this love the kitovu (umbilical cord or root) of uzembe (foolishness, idiocy, or negligence), it means that foolish actions are not accidents—they are birthed from this specific kind of blind affection. How do you know when love has crossed into the dangerous zone of uzembe?
There is an old Swahili saying that cuts through the romantic haze we often wrap around love: “Ngoswe penzi kitovu cha uzembe.” Literally translated, it warns that reckless or excessive love is the very root of foolishness. In an era where we glorify “crazy in love” and passion at all costs, this proverb stands as a stark, uncomfortable mirror. ngoswe penzi kitovu cha uzembe
Friends and family warn you. They see what you refuse to see. Instead of listening, you isolate yourself. Uzembe thrives in isolation. When the proverb calls this love the kitovu
You find yourself lying for a partner, covering up their mistakes, or abandoning your dreams to keep the peace. Love was meant to elevate you, not turn you into a stranger. In an era where we glorify “crazy in
Your health, finances, and mental peace are crumbling. Yet you stay, because leaving would mean admitting you wasted time. That is the height of foolishness. Why Does This Happen? Psychologically, ngoswe penzi resembles addiction. The brain releases dopamine when we are with the beloved, even when they hurt us. We become hooked on the highs, enduring the lows with a delusional hope that “love will fix it.”
So love, by all means. Love deeply, passionately, and loyally. But never let love turn you into someone you would be ashamed to introduce to your younger self. Because once uzembe takes root, it is hard to pull out. And the only one who loses in the end is you. He who loves wisely, lives wisely. He who loves recklessly, collects regrets.