I — Hate Luv Storys

If you’ve ever rolled your eyes so hard at a rom-com that you saw your own brain, this post is for you. Here is the core of my hatred: the Grand Gesture.

In the movies, this works. The crowd claps. The kiss happens. i hate luv storys

Warning: This post contains high levels of sarcasm and a deep-seated suspicion of grand gestures. If you’ve ever rolled your eyes so hard

In the movie, they finish each other’s sentences. In reality, they would finish each other’s patience. The crowd claps

Let’s get one thing straight right now. When I see a couple slow-dancing in the rain, I don’t think, “How romantic.” I think, “Those are two people who are going to be picking wet leaves out of their hair for an hour and probably catch pneumonia.”

I love the fight that ends not with a passionate kiss, but with a tired, "I'm sorry I snapped," and a hug that lasts a little too long.

The Grand Gesture teaches us that boundaries don't matter as long as you feel strongly enough. It teaches us that love is a problem to be solved with spectacle, not consistency. I also hate the meet-cute. You know the one: The girl drops her groceries; the guy slips on a banana peel; their eyes meet over a spilled latte.