The Lingerie Salesman's Worst Nightmare Patched -

It sounds like you’re setting up a scene or a character sketch — “the lingerie salesman’s worst nightmare” could go a few ways, depending on the tone you want (comic, dramatic, or psychological).

She tilts her head. “Don’t be. I picked the coffin.”

Derek’s mouth opens. Closes. Opens again. the lingerie salesman's worst nightmare

Here’s a quick piece to illustrate one possible take:

She doesn’t browse. She stares .

She then asks to try on a waspie corset, a sheer babydoll, and a leather garter belt — for the wake .

“I need something for my husband’s funeral,” she says, flat as a mannequin’s face. “He liked red.” It sounds like you’re setting up a scene

His name is Derek, and he’s worked at “Velvet & Lace” for three years. He knows cup sizes at a glance, can spot a bad underwire from ten feet away, and has never once made a customer feel uncomfortable.