Modern Family Halloween ^hot^ 【COMPLETE】

Jay and Gloria’s house. It is eerily quiet. A single, elegant skeleton made of real Italian marble sits on the porch. A bowl of organic, gluten-free candy corn sits next to it.

(dressed as a flawless, terrifying 1950s housewife, complete with a rolling pin that doubles as a taser): "Phil, the flaming pumpkin just set the ‘Beware’ sign on fire. And Haley is downstairs making out with a guy dressed as a human-sized vape pen." modern family halloween

(wearing a "Ghost of Future Technology" costume—i.e., a cardboard box covered in blinking LEDs and a smashed iPhone 6 around his neck): "Claire, relax. The theme is Sustainable Scares . The kids aren't just getting cavities; they're getting an education on e-waste." Jay and Gloria’s house

"See, Jay? He gets it."

The Pritchett-Dunphy-Tucker Halloween Gauntlet A bowl of organic, gluten-free candy corn sits next to it

(downs a whole glass of red wine, taser still in hand) "Only six more hours until November 1st."

The Dunphy living room. Orange and purple lights flash erratically. A fog machine is having a seizure in the corner.